On Narratives

Writing a book has always been one of my lifelong dreams. Since I was a child, I would constantly come up with new story ideas, each one I was convinced would be my golden ticket into the publishing industry. I probably have over twenty different first lines, paragraphs, chapters, of uncompleted pieces in the depths of my laptop files. I have built so many characters over my creative writing journey, some are completely fictional, others a representation of who I want to be, and a handful of love interests I’ve completely fallen in love with despite the fact they literally don’t exist. 

I’ve dipped my toe into multiple genres: mystery, romance, thriller, but the main one I’ve always been drawn to was literary fiction, which also happens to be the genre I consume the most. I spent many hours during my teen years wasting away on PicMonkey, designing covers for a book that I hadn’t even fully fleshed out yet. I absolutely adored the creative process -- except for the part where I actually had to write the novel. My ideas never seemed to stick, so I’m back again at square one. A blank page. 

That’s where my inspiration came from for these one-shot narratives. I figured if I couldn’t commit to a complete story right now, I could just write whatever I could right now and see where my pen leads me. Most, if not all, of the narratives I’ve uploaded have been written without any true context, and that’s sort of the point. All of the excerpts I’ve written can be read and understood without any exposition or explanation (hopefully). I like to leave my characters and dialogue up to the readers’ interpretation. 

But, to completely contradict myself, I thought it would be interesting to offer some insight into the influence behind some of these one-shots. Some of these pieces are completely fictional, others take details from personal anecdotes, and some are retellings of my intimate experiences. So, here are my breakdowns. On narratives.

In Preparation For

This piece was so fun to write. Getting ready for a first date is such a universal experience in girlhood, especially when it becomes a group event with your girlfriends. With this one-shot, I wanted to encapsulate the emotions and routine of someone who was going on a first date without any company. Many of the details in this piece reflect my own, from the thought process to when the date should take place to the outfit to the reading on the bus (not the sushi, though. I live for sushi). It’s been a while since I flexed my creative writing skills, so being able to follow a narrative with this scene was very refreshing. One of my personal favorite details in this piece is the thought process the character goes through prior to the date. Her contemplation on not wearing white, being distracted at work, and down to the slightly disordered thoughts on food and her body. I feel like the reader can get a sense of who the main character is as a person in just a short period of time. 

We Were Just Girls

This piece was a more complex one for me to write. The characters in this one-shot are based on a past friendship I had during my first years in college. Going through a friendship breakup is devastating. From a female perspective, it can really shift who you are as a person and the way you view other people, whether it be romantically or platonically. In this excerpt, I tried to capture the tension between the two girls. Their run-in is awkward, but you can still feel the lingering hurt and intimacy from the narrator’s point of view. She desperately wishes for their friendship back, but at the same time, she knows that their time has passed and there is nothing that can bring them back together, not the way it used to be. This exact interaction hasn’t happened to me, but it’s what I believe could/would happen if it did.

The Bathroom Sink

This narrative is my favorite. Hands down. It’s also the most vulnerable piece I’ve published on my blog. This excerpt depicts the last moment I had with my ex-boyfriend. With all the other pieces I uploaded that were based on my own experiences, I’ve embellished and exaggerated some details. But with this one, I kept every detail the way I remembered it. I know for some people, retelling one of their most painful memories is like taking a gun to the head, but for me, it was cathartic to relive the moment. In some way, it was beautiful that many months later, I was still able to remember even the most minute of details of that day. It may seem weird, also, to have strangers on the Internet know one of the most private and intimate experiences I’ve had, but I think that’s the beauty in it. Love and heartbreak, though are opposites, are both so profound and visceral. The moments I’ve experienced with both are something I have and will, always want to share.

The Morning After 

I had a blast writing this excerpt. Unfortunately, what happened in this piece is based on something that happened to me. Though, in the moment, it wasn’t a desirable situation to be in, but it turned out to be a good story to tell afterward. What I really like about this scene is that it happens over the span of around an hour. It was a challenge to detail all the small things that occurred within the hour, from my frantic yet tired thoughts to the state of my bedroom. I also liked the idea of time, especially how slow it seemed to be moving that morning, dictating the narrative. Hopefully, it isn’t something I will have to experience again.

My goal moving forward with these narratives is to expand past my personal experiences. I want to explore more creatively, whether it’s coming up with scenarios completely outside of myself or diving into different genres. Maybe I will write something that has more mystery undertones, or I could dive into something more fantastical. The whole point of these narratives is to push the boundaries of my skills and truly discover what I really enjoy writing. To many more.