Do We Really Need To Talk About This?

So, you voted for Trump?

But that was, like, almost four years ago.

Okay… but have you changed since then?

Yeah, I think so.

Oh yeah? Prove it!

So picture that. Who's right in this scenario? How does your answer change if the person who voted for Trump was a woman? A woman of color? A man? A man of color? How would it change if these two people were strangers? Friends? In a relationship?

Politics is a sticky subject. It's definitely a polarizing conversation to have with anyone. It's easy to make a judgment about someone, especially a stranger, based on their voting history and childhood background. Lord knows I've done it. Reacting to this first impression is understandable, as being passionate about certain issues represented by the two parties. It's more painful to cut someone out of your life than it is to refuse to let a stranger in the first place. But, at the same time, refusing to communicate with people with differing beliefs also eliminates any chance to have a productive conversation and learn about an opposing side.

Now, I'm not saying this to justify anyone's hatred or malevolence towards a group of people, or anything of the sort. In my case, for anyone who is a fellow left-leaning individual, I'm not saying this to justify anyone's vote for Trump. Do I love it? Absolutely not. It's hard for me to understand why someone would vote for a Cheeto who doesn't respect my existence or the existence of the marginalized groups I belong to. It's hard for me to separate the social and fiscal beliefs because, for me, they all blend together. There isn't a hard line that I can reference to accept someone's decision to vote for someone who promotes hatred toward so many people.

But, at the same time, it's not my place to demand anyone to justify their past decisions to me. Especially a past decision. It's something that's happened, and they can't go back and change it. And, if this individual has shown growth and has shifted their viewpoints on certain things, then who am I to shame them for something they can't change? The tangibility of their growth is what matters. With that being said, I still believe having productive conversations, keywords 'productive' and 'conversations', on the matter is still extremely beneficial for both sides. Understanding where someone stood at a certain point in their life and how they have grown beyond that person is incredibly interesting. For me, it's simpler to have these conversations with a friend or a mutual. Having that initial respect going into a hard conversation like that is important. It creates a safer space for less antagonization. I also believe it's a conversation that we should be having with other people, even strangers.

Of course, this is all easier said than done. I had this same conversation with my partner, who is a liberal white male from Texas, and how he loves to engage in discussions with people of dissenting views, especially strangers, just to learn about the other side and why they believe the things they do. He encourages me to do the same. Easier said than done. If we were both to approach a male who believes that the gender pay gap should exist and isn't a feminist, who do you think he would take more seriously? A white male? Or an Asian female? Take a guess. From experience, trying to have a conversation with someone who clearly has a bone to pick with a marginalized group I belong to is pretty difficult. They don't really ever want to have a debate, or at least one that will take me seriously. It's these experiences that deter me from ever wanting to engage in those interactions ever again. But, at the same time, it's still important that we do.

Living in an echo chamber is comfortable. It's comfortable to be surrounded by people who validate your opinions and perpetuate the fact that you're always right. But it's also extremely exclusive. I've lived in an echo chamber before, and it's very polarizing once you step out of it and realize some things I believe in aren't always right. It's incredibly uncomfortable to disagree with someone, especially when you both aren't willing to listen. You need to pick and choose your battles. I'm not going to engage in a conversation with someone who continually refers to me as slurs. After a while, it becomes obvious who you can sit down with and truly have a discussion on politics and what it means for them versus what it means for you. I'm not telling you to go up to strangers and ask them what their political party is. But I also don't want you to shy away if that topic comes up in a conversation. Once you are able to understand why a person believes something, it's easier to make a more accurate judgment of character. It all starts with you.