A childhood lost, a lifetime gained

My sister got married the other weekend, and I am still reconciling with the fact that I may no longer be the most important person in her life anymore. A cynical, conceited thought, but when you spend your whole childhood with someone and suddenly you do not share a last name anymore, it is a complicated reality to reckon with. Nevertheless, I am extremely happy for her and the great, loving future that awaits her. 

My Speech

I’m sure everyone here knows me, but on the off-chance you have not been graced by my presence yet, my name is Sarah. It is a tremendous recognition to be Hannah’s maid of honor today, but more ardently, I have the honor of being her little sister every day.

For those of you who do not know us well, or did not grow up with us, it might come as a shock to you when I say that I have not always considered Hannah my best friend. Yet, the bond we have runs deeper than that of friendship, not defined by the blood we share and not bound by the expectations of what a sister is supposed to be. Over the past couple of years, my sister has become my rock, my lighthouse, and my beacon of confidence. Hannah has not always been my best friend; she has become so much more than that to me.

Growing up, we were not attached at the hip as some sisters are. We were close in brief periods, like when we would pretend to be Warrior cats, chasing each other down the halls on our hands and knees. We were close when we bonded during moments of deception, like when we figured out how to turn the wifi back on after our parents disconnected it before leaving us at home to go to work. But, even at such a young age, despite the fact that we lacked any real solidarity and I really only perceived her as an extra closet to steal from, there was something in me that always felt like I had a safety net. 

As a child, I remember seeking her out in the hallways on the first day of school, trying to squeeze into the bus seat with her even though it was already occupied by three other people, and always finding comfort when she was in close proximity. As we grew older, we could be silent with each other for days on end, not out of hostility or anger, just pure indifference, but still, I knew she would be the first I’d call in any emergency. That fact has not changed to this day. 

Being a sister is funny because you are born knowing each other. And by that I mean I’ve seen her in the impossible light of girlhood -- across our childhood bedroom in our respective twin beds as she made up bedtime stories for me to fall asleep to, her always letting me pick out my Webkinz stuffed animal first, bickering before a family photo but the argument is long forgotten after the click of the camera. Hannah and I are two sides of the same coin. I cry at the drop of a hat, she is one of the most composed people I know. I let my emotions run wild, she doesn’t do anything without rational motives. There is a certain peace that comes with being around her, like a bubble that forms around just the two of us, a feeling unreplicated and grounded in the fact that I do not know a life without her.

I tell my friends and strangers about Hannah like it’s a badge of honor. She is like looking in the mirror and seeing a version of myself I hope to one day become. As children, being her sister was breathing proof that you could love someone and still wish them hell. Now, being her sister means I’ll peel her oranges and let the rinds stain my fingernails without any complaints. She gives me the best bites of her sandwiches, and we are both willing to go half hungry just to share a meal together. However far we are from each other, the roots of a lifetime of sisterhood will always tie us back to each other. 

When you flip that coin, you will also find that Charles and I share the same face. When I first met Charles, I was a bit surprised, because where Hannah has a more subtle approach to conversation, Charles is a burst of energy. But as I got to know him more, I began to see parts of myself in him, and it all began to make sense. Charles is a loose cannon, wearing his heart on his sleeves, unashamed by how many tears he sheds, a cold glass of coffee on a hot summer day. Hannah is a peace sign, a Monet painting you can’t help but linger at, a cup of hot tea before bedtime. And when you think about it, it’s almost strange how two people so different get along so well, but at the end of the day, as someone who has had the privilege of spending so much time around them, they truly are not so different after all. 

I have been extremely fortunate to watch their love bloom over the past couple of years, and not just because I reaped the benefits of free Uber rides and paid meals. When it comes to being in love with your best friend, they are the blueprint. It’s evident in everything they do: dancing on the tennis court, prepping dinner together in the kitchen, quiet moments in between where no one else is around, I’ve been lucky enough to witness soft-spoken “I love you’s” in their home-cooked meals and in their laughter. They have made a home in their love with no slamming doors and no eggshells on the floor. Their love story is written in the stars, pressing up against the edge of this universe, threatening to spill into the next one over. 

So, to Charles: though I was adamant about Hannah not changing her last name to Talbot, I know now that even if we may not share a last name anymore, I did not lose a sister but rather, I gained a brother. I hope you enjoy spending the rest of your life with Hannah as much as I did spending the beginning of mine with her. 

And to Hannah, thank you for being you. I will always cherish our relationship above all else, and know that you can always count on me whenever you need an extra mouth to feed. You are many things: a daughter, a best friend, an engineer, an artist, a confidant, a now-wife, a pleasure to have in the classroom, but my favorite thing that you are is my sister. 

I hope that we are sisters in every lifetime, and if it so happens we aren’t, I thank God that I somehow exist in this universe where I am fortunate enough to call myself your little sister. 

I wish you guys an eternity of happiness filled with laughter and forgiveness, a future abundant with adventures and many cats, and I can not wait to see you guys live out your dreams together. 

https://youtu.be/pcd4uHaaDWE