This Conversation We Are Having

I'm in a constant state of missing you.

Twenty minutes away suddenly feels like we do not know each other anymore

But it also feels like

We are just standing on opposite sides of the same room.

I wish there wasn't you in every breath I take

And you in every fruit aisle

And you in every Sunday morning.

There is you in every book I read

And there you are every time I laugh

And every time I cry.

This grief that I hold is hard to let go

Because it's still a conversation I am having with you.

They all say that

It will pass.

But I do not know if I want it to pass

Because the pain is a constant reminder of who we were

And without the hurt,

I do not know what we are anymore.

• I will be okay in a world without you, but I don't want to be.