The Butterflies In My Stomach Are Rocks

Everyone tells you about the pain and

The unbearableness of heartbreak

But nothing quite prepared me for the way

My chest became a sinking ship,

The weight of the water are memories still fresh in my mind

And I can still feel your fingers tracing my back.

It feels like I am leaving a burning home that I have spent years cleaning

And it takes every fiber in my being to not tell you that I miss you.

I wish I didn’t look at you and see poetry

And I wish I could turn this hurt into a metaphor

To crumple it up and throw it in the trash and never look back.

I still don't understand how this sadness can be so quiet

Yet so loud when at night the sound of my tears lulls me to sleep.

I will endure a lifetime of missing you for the privilege of loving you.