On Hopecore

Isn’t it funny how I can find solace through my phone screen? And not from doom scrolling or playing nonsensical little games, but the rare instant where I come across a video or a post of what people have now deemed hopecore. Hopecore: an emerging narrative where individuals actively seek joy and positivity in the world around them. As menial and primitive as it may sound, stumbling across these little nuggets of affirmations has really flipped a switch in my psyche. Slowly but surely, it has cemented a forward-thinking mindset, one that relies more on positivity and putting what I want into the world, rather than constantly lamenting what I don’t have, hyperfixating on all the things wrong in my life. 

What a silly concept, so obvious and glaring. A life where I’m not always plagued by negativity because I choose not to focus on what I lack and instead express gratitude for what I have an abundance of. It is so simple, but it’s so much easier said than done. It’s difficult to make a conscious change in the way your brain is routed, proactively making an effort to shift your perspective. It is not something I have perfected yet, but every day, I am one step closer. Repeating affirmations out loud to myself, feeling quite foolish in my empty bedroom, but bit by bit overcoming this internal judgment I have reserved for myself and others. Life is not meant to be perpetual suffering. 

So, in case you need to hear it today, I am proud of you. You are intelligent and beautiful, and though sometimes you don’t believe it, that doesn’t stop it from being true. You chew the inside of your cheek out of anxiety, gnawing at it until it bleeds, red staining your molars and the metallic tang filling your mouth. But it’s okay, it will all be better in a few days. It’s a painful reminder that your body and mind will continue to heal itself over and over again. You don’t need someone to rescue you; there has been someone trying to save you all this time, and it’s you. No one will care for you as much as your own body, your own spirit and soul already do.

Treat yourself like you would your son, your daughter, your offspring. Brush your hair, do your laundry. Cook for yourself a hearty meal, a tall glass of water. Take a bath, light a few candles, and tuck yourself into bed. Be gentle with yourself. Do not punish, don’t berate, don’t let your tears stain your cheeks. You deserve more than to suffer at your own hands. You do not grow by shaming yourself. You can not hate yourself into a new person. It is not selfish to show gratitude and kindness to yourself. If not you, then who? The life you lead is not supposed to be a punishment. The choices you make should not be some everlasting tax for your existence. 

Be happy. Be excited, be hopeful, be content. Do not let your anger represent you, and do not let those who condescend define you. Your emotions do not live on a spectrum of validity. They are valid by the virtue of being felt and nothing else. If you struggle to find purpose, well then, maybe your purpose today is just getting out of bed. Tomorrow it will be going for a walk in the sun. Maybe next week it will be getting dinner with your friend. It does not have to be world-altering, it does not have to be an end-all-be-all. Maybe your purpose is just living, despite it all. 

I hope you find company within yourself, a best friend in your solitude. I hope you fall in love with your own mind, not because it’s what everyone says you have to do, but just for the sole fact that you deserve to be happy with the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with.

Anchor yourself in the universal truth that you are worth it. Even in your lowest moments, even when self-hatred and self-sabotage sicken you to your stomach, find that sliver of strength to root yourself in the belief that you are always worth it. It will be a lifelong journey because the bad thing is, no feeling is ever final. But here’s the good thing as well: no feeling is ever final. Joy will find you once again, in your bowl of cereal, in the slippers at the foot of your bed, in the Halloween candy, in the glass of wine during Thanksgiving dinner. It will find you in the first snowfall, shutting off your alarm on Christmas morning, in the speakers of your headphones, in the hands of your best friend. 

Do not wait for eternity to find someone who will love and accept you as you are. You already have; the reflection in your mirror. This person you have been waiting for all along is yourself.