Change is My Biggest Fear and the Best Thing That Happens to Me

December 31st, August 31st, your 18th birthday, your 21st birthday. Without fail, some of the most life-changing events can occur on these dates. The start of a new year constantly pressures us to make drastic shifts and changes in our lives to become a “better you”. The end of summer marks the end of leases, move-out dates, and new roommates. Coming of age, the ability to be tried as an adult, tossing out that fake ID, everything changes eventually.

I have always been afraid of change if it was out of my control. Change is scary. Change is a bottomless pit and a ray of sunshine and the sinking feeling in your stomach and a first kiss. It’s the good, the bad, a curse, a blessing, the nightmares that keep you up at night, and the smell of rain on a hot summer day. Change is inevitable. Whenever I know that change is sitting on the horizon, a ball of anxiety sets up camp in my stomach until I know that I’ve conquered this upcoming period of change. So essentially, this feeling never leaves me. But, I always have to remind myself that change is good.

Change can not be avoided. It shouldn’t be avoided. There is a reason why we are constantly moving and why time can not be stopped and why the seasons change and why we change. We can’t stay stagnant in our lives, as much as we may enjoy this era we are living in, nothing is truly forever. We need to learn and grow, and sometimes that’s fucking scary. Here are some things I’ve prioritized when I know that change is coming.

Know your people, and keep your people.

You do not have to go through changes on your own. Recognize the people in your life who have stuck with you, and remember that. In stressful times, remember to reach out and prioritize the relationships each of you hold in each other’s lives. These are your people. Don’t lose them.

Create your space.

One of my main priorities in life is having a space safe. Typically, this is my bedroom, whether I’m visiting my childhood home or in my current apartment. Creating a space where you feel comfortable is so important. This could be the balcony of your house, the alleyway behind your building, a grassy spot in the park, whatever. Having a place that is just for you and where you feel safe is always key. Change is unpredictable. Make something predictable.

Embrace it.

Change can honestly suck it. But you can’t endure change with this mindset. If you are constantly resisting change and the new life path you are being put on, it’s only going to make you more miserable in the long run. If you enter it with a clear head and an open mindset, you’ll have more opportunities to learn and grow from the obstacles that life throws in your way. It’ll be hard, it’ll be stressful, but it’ll be good.

In all honesty, if I could have everything stay still until I felt like I was ready to move on, that’s the life journey I would choose. But that’s just not how it works. Things change because you aren’t ready, and that’s where you’ll grow the most. So as much as change is a raging thunderstorm down the road, grab your umbrella and keep walking. It’ll be worth it.

- Originally published July 31, 2022